Fitting Pieces
by Sailor Panda
Summary: Tragedy befalls the family and everyone struggles as they must learn to cope with the changes it brings, especially Ayame and Tohru as their relationship shifts in a direction that they had never dreamed of. [undergoing revision]
1. Prologue: Shattered

WARNING: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. If you're still willing to read, then on with the fic!  
  
Note: sections in {{ }} indicate flashback  
  
  
  
  
  
FITTING PIECES  
  
Prologue: Shattered  
  
  
  
She woke, shivering and feeling cold, mind quiet and disoriented, until the memories came trickling back one by one, the fall of each causing the leaden weight in her heart to grow and grow. Unvoiced fear and pain warring in her chest, slowly, so slowly, she rolled over to face the other side of the bed, hoping against hope with all her soul that it was all a dream and that everything would be the way it was supposed to be. He should be there beside her, a graceful figure, a gentle and comforting presence, lips curved slightly in sleep with pale hair partially covering slumbering eyes, as they shared each other's warmth within the deep darkness of the night.  
  
But he wasn't.  
  
She stared blankly at the empty spot by her side, glowing starkly in the moonlight streaming through an open window, as if haloed in ghostly brightness while the rest of the room was cast in dark shadows. Pale light glinted off the gold band on her slender hand as she slowly reached out to touch the unbroken smoothness of the sheets. The crisp whiteness crinkled as fingers dug deep, fisted, as broken gasps echoed throughout the quiet of the room. Cold, trembling hands clamped over chilled parted lips as she tried to choke back the dry, heaving sobs that threatened to tear her apart, a dark thing trying to claw itself out of her chest. Muscles tensed and shivered, trying to stop the waves of greasy black pain that washed over her in endless torrents, seeking to engulf her and drown her in its relentless inky depths of emotional torment.  
  
As suddenly as it had started, it stopped, its suddenness leaving her shell- shocked and numb inside. She curled on her side, away from the mocking emptiness behind her, and tried to hold on to a state of emotional suspension, a limbo, not thinking of anything, shutting out the rest of the world. All seemed blanketed in a gray haze, the edges between reality and mind blurring as she struggled against having to accept, to come to terms with, the thoughts that would not remain buried. But it didn't last for long as bits and pieces of the past few days flashed in her mind, one after another, jumbled, agitating her pain.  
  
  
  
{{ A ringing phone. A distant voice. "Mrs. Souma? I'm sorry to report that there's been a car accident." Lights blurring, whizzing by, on the other side of glass.  
  
Words filled with pain. "Kuso nezumi. Just to save a cat."  
  
The coldness of a waiting room chair. A feminine hand clasping hers. Red light shining from the emergency room sign. The fair hair of a boy leaning against her in comfort. The ominous gloom of the trio of adults beside he, one with long pale hair, two with short and dark. The ticking of a clock. A little girl crying, a young boy whispering comfort. Distant steps on tiled floor. A leather clad figure with empty eyes. Voices crackling over the intercom. A door opening. A doctor shaking his head.  
  
"No!" A despairing whisper.  
  
The warmth of a hand guiding her.  
  
"If you have any last words, say them now." }}  
  
  
  
She swallowed hard, breath rasping out unsteadily as she fought to control her lungs, to concentrate on nothing else.  
  
  
  
{{ A reclining figure covered in white, eyes filled with love and sadness, a gentle smile.  
  
Vision blurred, became damp and hot.  
  
"I.love.you." A rattling breath, a tender look. "Always.smile and.be.happy." }}  
  
  
  
The heels of her hands dug into closed eyes, trying to block the images, as she curled into a tight ball.  
  
  
  
{{ A spacious room. Cold chills. Spoken words. Silken cloth rustling as the dark figure collapsed, shocked.  
  
A whispered accusation. "It's your fault."  
  
A mass of black clad figures offering soft condolences. Numerous pale flowers. Comforting touches that seem abrasive. A clear day. Rows of upright stone tablets and statuary, weathered by passing days, passing years.  
  
Echoes of muffled sobs, choked gasps, coming from everywhere, overwhelming.  
  
A slate of newly carved stone. }}  
  
  
  
That last image lingered in her mind, growing and growing larger, weighing on her, threatening to devour her whole as the pain in her head, in her heart, sharpened and twisted like a wild thing. The confines of the dark room seemed to shrink, pressing closer, trying to cloister her in. Her breathing became more and more rapid, shallow pants that grated in the stillness of the air, and suddenly she couldn't take it anymore. She had to get out, away from the imprisoning walls that tried to hold in her pain.  
  
With the sounds of rustling cloth and soft slapping of bare feet on polished wood, she ran as fast as her legs would carry her, out of the room, down through twisting corridors made black with the absence of light. She finally burst out of the winding shadowy maze of the sprawling building, the texture of hard wooden smoothness turning to the damp softness of cushioning grass as she continued to run. Dark shapes of more structures she paid no attention to blurred by as she kept running, hair whipping her face as the coldness of autumn's chill winds pushed at her, seeming to shriek in tiny wails as they whistled by. None of if mattered to her, her only thoughts full of him, to be with him once again as they had been before. She quickened her pace, wanting to reach him faster, knowing she was almost there, the place where he was waiting for her. But she stopped short of her destination.  
  
He wasn't alone.  
  
Standing before him was a form cast in partial shadows, tall and willowy, back facing her. Even with the dimness of the night, strands of silver moonlight trailed behind him, flowing in the wind. Then the figure turned, as if sensing her presence, his golden gaze meeting hers in a frozen moment. Within those eyes and the glistening streaks that continued to trail down pale cool cheeks, she saw all the painful emotions warring in her own heart, struggling for a release that she tried to resist against. But witnessing the expression in those kindred gold pools of grief, she felt the lid crack open on the tightly closed boxed restraining her heartbreaking outpourings of pain. Hot trails trickling down her wind cooled cheeks, mirroring those of the pale figure before her. Slowly, on silent feet, she made her way towards him until the two of them were gathered in front of the one they had both loved and lost.  
  
Words went unspoken, clearly understanding each other's anguish, taking comfort in the knowledge that they weren't alone in their shared sorrow. A choked sound reached her ears as he suddenly sank to his knees before her, his emotions overcoming him. Fists clenched in her nightgown, bunching the material, as his pale head pushed against her abdomen with every sob. She put consoling hands atop the silky silver strands pressed close to her, soothing as best as she could as her own body shook with gasping cries, a hot rain of tears continuing to fall as she released the feelings wrenching her heart, the overwhelming aching sadness devouring her soul.  
  
Time held no meaning as the two mourners grieved together, sharing their warmth, as autumn's chill winds continued to whisper through the grass and trees, the half moon shining above a silent eye that held its vigil over them in their sorrow.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: One of the more experimental and poetic pieces I've ever written that's for sure. All my fics seem to start off dark and moody. shrugs but feels the need to write something lighter now  
  
Well, this was originally written for the FruityGroup ML fanfic contest but I decided to use this to start off an Ayame x Tohru fic which I probably won't be able to continue working on for a little while. An Ayaru thanks for coming up with the tag, Mona!  
  
So happier chapters to come! I just have to think of them first. 


	2. Chapter 1: Lost Light

FITTING PIECES  
  
Chapter 1: Lost Light  
  
  
  
In the dark office lit only by the little light from the waning moon that trickled in through the windows that were cracked open by a sliver, the scent of smoke hung heavy in the air. With another puff from his cigarette, Hatori continued to stare into the dark shadows that engulfed his small office as his thoughts kept circling around the same things they had been for the past week, since that terrible event had occurred and thrown the Souma world even deeper into hellish existence than it had ever been before, especially among those cursed the most, the ones closest to the Jyunnishi curse. The ray of light, of hope, that had been unfurling among them for the past several years, after all the hard obstacles that had been overcome, seemed to have been extinguished within the space of a heartbeat, an instant little thing, one little accident that changed it all. And even he, the most stalwart of the Jyunnishi, couldn't remain unaffected by any of it. Couldn't help but relive the past days that seemed to stretch on endlessly as he grieved for the one who was lost and all that appeared to have been lost with him.  
  
"Damn it!"  
  
With a sudden burst of uncharacteristic rage, he ripped the cigarette from his lips and violently stabbed it into the nearby ashtray, coming close to sending both skittering off his desk. As suddenly as it had come, it subsided and he sighed heavily as he leaned further back into his chair, closing his eyes in exhaustion.  
  
But no rest was achieved as visions of sterile, whitewashed hospital walls once again appeared in his mind's eye. The horrified disbelief that he had felt, and had witnessed on the faces of the others, as they'd waited outside the emergency room, waited for good news that had never come. A short, bitter laugh echoed within the confines of the office as he recalled his helplessness, his inability to do anything despite being a doctor himself. It had been hard, ever since the phone call that had interrupted the small party that they'd been having at Shigure's to celebrate Kagura and Kyou's recent engagement. As soon as they had gotten the news, Hatori had rushed them all over to the hospital, a gloomy surreal pall cast over them all as fear of the worst had gripped at their hearts. And when they finally reached their destination, it hadn't gotten any better. It had taken just that long for all of it to sink in, the harsh reality of the situation that had lain one of them at death's store, not because of the bane of their existence, the curse that they would bear for the duration of their days, but because of a whim of fate that played with the lives of even the most normal of humans, taking them away without a moment's notice.  
  
Just as Yuki had been taken away.  
  
Those last moments he that he'd remained in this world, as he'd clung on the verge between life and death, had been painful to witness as he'd spent what little time he had left trying to comfort the beloved wife he'd be leaving behind, the knowledge in his gaze showing that there wasn't enough he could do in a few brief moments despite attempting the best that he was able. It was that painful scene that Hatori and the others had been bystanders to, unable to do anything else for the wedded couple as one half of the whole they'd made up was unwillingly pulled away. Leaving the rest of them to pick up the pieces.  
  
He remembered the long drive back to Shigure's. Shigure had held a weakened Ayame in comfort as Kyou, Hiro, and Hatsuharu had remained utterly quiet and still for the duration of the trip. Meanwhile, Kagura and Kisa had tried to quietly offer whispered support to a desolate Tohru. Despite his own shock at the events that had occurred, a new worry had wriggled into his thoughts at the utter lack of reaction that she'd shown. After the last dying words were spoken, she'd gone completely blank-faced, showing no response to anything unless prompted to, remaining voiceless unless spoken to, replying only in monosyllables. And once they'd reached Shigure's, she'd only gotten worse.  
  
She'd frozen completely still just before setting foot inside the house, breath rasping out rapidly and harshly as she'd started to hyperventilate. Hatori had quickly pulled her farther away from the building as soon as he had realized what was happening and gradually her breathing had subsided to normal. But it was painted vividly in his mind, as he'd tried to whisper quiet reassurances, those last words he'd heard her say.  
  
"Please, I can't!"  
  
Tohru had gasped wretchedly, the strength of the emotion that had her in its grips causing her voice to crack as she stared up at him with such a pain filled gazed overflowing with agony.  
  
Then she had fallen completely silent, not voicing even a single simply worded reply to any question. Despite the lack of any further response, no one had had the heart to force her into entering a place containing so many torturous memories at such a delicate time. After a brief discussion with the others, he had ended up taking her and the others back to the Honke to stay.  
  
But that had become another nightmare in itself. The news had been of too much importance to relate it via a phone call so it had been decided to wait and inform Akito face-to-face, a situation that occurred sooner than any of them had prepared for as an order had been waiting at the entrance of the Honke for everyone to gather in the meeting hall, even Tohru and Kyou. Hatori shuddered as he recalled the horror of it: the shock on Akito's face before he collapsed from the strain, the panic as everyone had rushed to his side in fear of losing yet another Souma member so soon, his harsh words towards Tohru as he was carried away, the further pallor on Tohru's face as Akito's words hit home and she pulled the emotional barrier she'd erected between herself and others even closer around her. She'd remained that way in the following days as well as funeral preparations went underway.  
  
He'd worried and checked up on her and Ayame, who seemed to be in a similar state even though he had Shigure in constant attendance, but most of his time had been taken up by Akito who had fallen ill when his body had weakened from emotional strain. Akito had been too sickly to see to any of the funeral arrangements, even to attend the reception that Hatori had made an appearance to. It had been an oppressive gathering with all of the Soumas in attendance, not just the Jyunnishi and those who knew of the curse. He'd caught low-voiced snide comments here and there about how lucky the cat was now that the mouse was gone, the viciousness within the Souma family revealing itself even at such solemn affairs. And Kyou, who had no doubt heard some of them, had been too disheartened to respond, often found with Kagura standing close by.  
  
However, it wasn't just Kyou whose spirit was dampened but all of the Jyunnishi members. Gloom hung over them all as the one person they had drawn such strength from in the most trying of times had withdrawn into herself. She seemed to pull away from even the smallest conveyance of sympathy or condolence, her face remaining blank in the midst of it all as she kept her silence. He'd seen many worried glances thrown her way, his included, as they took in her pallid skin and the way she'd thinned in just a few days. He'd heard that she hadn't really been eating and continued her unresponsiveness towards others that was terrifying in its unusualness.  
  
He knew all those repressed feelings bottled up inside of her were going to have to express themselves one day soon, he was only afraid of how they'd do it. The easiest to cry at even the slightest emotionally moving things, she hadn't shed any tears that he knew of since her husband's last breath. She'd stayed detached through it all, even when they'd all gathered around the new headstone in the Souma family's graveyard.  
  
Hatori's body groaned as he got up. Her pallid features and stony expression as she'd stared at the gravestone flashed in his mind, giving rise to fresh worry as he suddenly felt the need to check on her. He'd been meaning to but hadn't been able to leave Akito's side until a little over an hour ago when his condition had finally seemed to stabilize on the road to recovery. But the countless sleepless hours he'd been up over the past few days had taken their toll on Hatori's exhausted body until his note to himself to look in on Tohru had temporarily slipped his mind in favor attempting to get a little rest which had remained elusive as he kept reliving events of the recent past.  
  
The hard pounding on the door startled Hatori, just as he was pulling on his jacket to venture out, and he could think only that another emergency had sprouted up. It was the only time he was called for so early in the morning, when even dawn's first light had yet to appear. With the memories of the days gone past still vivid in his mind, fear pooled in his gut as he rushed to the door and threw it open.  
  
"Tori-san!"  
  
Hatori's eyes widened as he took in the bedraggled appearance of the figures before him standing in damp, grass-stained, and wind-blown disarray. But it was the barefoot feminine form, shivering and pale in thin nightgown as she was carefully held up by her silver-haired protector, that captured the bulk of his attention as he uttered a soft surprised exclamation.  
  
"Tohru-san!"  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: No, haven't quite gotten to the happy part yet. That's going to have to wait just a little longer. Can't just go from death to smiles in an instant, you know. Used this chapter to clear up some stuff that was kind of hazy in the prologue. Also, I realize that not all questions were answered this time but they will in the future chapters, like little pieces of the puzzle slowly falling into place.hence, the title.  
  
Plus, used Hatori's point of view because he's a fairly clear-headed observer which Tohru and Ayame aren't right now in the situation I've put them in. (^^) And, although it's going to be mainly Yukiru (via some flashbacks) and Ayaru, it's not going to focus just on them but to resolve some of the other relationships among the cast as well. So the story will probably get into other characters' pov as well.  
  
On a cultural note, the stuff about funeral arrangements in this chapter is Western, which takes about a week (give or take a few days) to get it all done. Japanese funeral customs mostly follow Buddhist traditions, the whole process of which takes about 35 days, which I didn't want to get into details about so I used Western customs. But I was really tempted to keep the Buddhist stuff in so it just ended up in the author's notes. grins sheepishly  
  
Anyways, hope you enjoyed being sucked into my little world and reading it waves bye-bye 


	3. Chapter 2: Out of the Dark

FITTING PIECES  
  
Chapter 2: Out of the Dark  
  
  
  
"Quick! Lets get her inside," Hatori instructed.  
  
He took Tohru's other arm carefully and, with Ayame retaining his own hold on her, guided her up the low steps and into the warmth of the darkened hallway in his small section of the Souma complex, closing the door after them. Worried at the way the thin arm beneath his hands trembled and was cold to his touch, he couldn't help but shoot a sharp glare at his long- time friend.  
  
"What were you thinking? Letting her outside in this condition?"  
  
Seeing his friend flinch, Hatori immediately regretted his harsh words. They'd been automatic, stemming from his own guilt and anxiety that he hadn't been doing enough to help the girl, for he couldn't help but continue to think of this delicate looking female in any other terms, in such a desolate time of their lives, terrible feelings that had only been augmented at the shock and surprise of suddenly seeing her in such a horrible condition. But knowing that didn't excuse him, there was no reason to take it out on someone who was going through just as much turmoil as the fragile creature shivering beside him.  
  
"I'm sorry." Hatori softened his toned. "I had no right to say that. I know you'd never deliberately do anything to hurt her."  
  
It was painful, Hatori thought, watching him try to summon up a smile that signaled acceptance of the apology even as dark shadows still lingered in that golden gaze. The expression of his friend was like a macabre parody of his usual cheerful countenance and Hatori felt a pang in his chest that he hadn't done more for Ayame either, leaving Shigure to do most of the comforting while he had attended to Akito. He felt the yawning darkness within the depths of his own soul widening further at this newest proof of how incapable he was in lending warmth and strength to another human being, like the cold of the approaching winter, completely unlike the abilities of the female before him.  
  
"Tori-san!" Ayame's voice shook Hatori out from his brief thoughts, the desperate worry in his tone capturing his attention as silver locks of hair fanned out from a shaking head. "Tori-san, never mind about me! You have to help her!"  
  
Hatori blinked at his friend in concern. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" He knew Tohru was cold from the shaking of her limbs and that they had to get her as warm as possible but if there was something more he needed to hear about her condition, some special knowledge that could help him treat her, he wanted it quick.  
  
"By the.grave." Ayame was visibly upset as he tried to relate his thoughts, scattered from turbulent emotions. "We were.I don't know how long." He shook his head. "She collapsed suddenly!"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"I didn't know what to do!" Gold eyes, swirling with remembered panic, looked up. "I couldn't carry her! I would have.And I couldn't leave her!" His chest shuddered as he sucked in another breath. "I kept trying and trying to wake her.then when she.I brought her here.to you."  
  
At the disjointed explanation, Hatori shook his head as he observed the flush on Tohru's face that he had supposed was either due to the simple effect of cold winds on warm skin or the beginnings of a fever. From her haggard appearance, he had thought that he wouldn't be all that surprised if she had been on the verge of falling sick. But Ayame's words only added more fuel to his earlier supposition. He felt a new urgency overtake him at the thought. If anything were to happen to her right after losing Yuki, the Jyunnishi really would fall into complete hopeless despair.  
  
With new purpose, Hatori ushered them farther into the building, closer to his office. He motioned to Ayame to wait. He felt it might be more comfortable to Tohru to examine her with as much privacy as possible, something that couldn't be gained from two hovering males. And from Ayame's apprehensive appearance, Hatori had no doubt that he'd hover.  
  
"Please, wait out here for a bit," Hatori requested. He gestured to the small waiting room outside his office, basically a hallway with a few chairs set up since his was mainly a small family practice. "I'll be out as soon as I finish examining her," he explained gently, trying to smooth Ayame's anxieties as he disappeared into his office, gently guiding Tohru before him.  
  
Ayame gazed blankly at the door that was closed behind them, shutting him out and leaving him alone once again with the thoughts that continuously ricocheted in his mind and the black emotions that tugged and pulled at his very being. With no one but him in the shadowy cramped room lit by what little light from a still dark morning managed to penetrate through closed windows, the murky sentiments that had been trailing after him for so long gave free reign with no one else around to focus on, to distract him from the shades of darkness welling up within him.  
  
His fault. His fault. His fault.  
  
The words kept tumbling over and over again in an intense endless litany within his mind, within his soul, echoing as they bounced off all the corridors that made up his being. It was the truth. The very truth as he felt it to be, deep down inside, so hidden away that he only noticed it in times of such unbearable emotional distress, in the face of great suffering when the barriers he'd erected around it weakened and came tumbling down.  
  
Like now. Like then.  
  
He had often thought throughout the years that he was cursed with more than just the unlucky misfortune of bearing the sign of a Jyunnishi, being outcast from normal human contact. That there was an even darker, more ominous cloud that surrounded him, bringing misery to those around him as they were affected by whatever evil disease it was that he carried that turned joyous times into decay. It was his fault, a tiny voice in his mind whispered, his punishment for being such a horrible person, such a selfish being that even his own parents had been unable to give him the affection and attention that he'd craved. And then, he thought shuddering, and then he'd pursued his own path, ignoring the feelings of others, of the helpless child who had needed him and reached out for him. He'd turned his back on such a defenseless one, his own flesh and blood, severing the ties that could have been so much stronger had they been nurtured from the beginning instead of tossed away carelessly.  
  
And then, when he'd tried to change, tried to think more about the feelings of others, to help the ones he cared about find happiness.even in that, he was a failure. He remembered encouraging Hatori, pushing him to find and hold on to the emotional bliss he'd found so briefly with Kana. He recalled his thoughts at that long ago time, selfish thinking despite well wishes to his friend, that if their relationship succeeded then the rest of them would have hope as well, including himself. But that had ended in tragedy and so much pain, agony that he had contributed to by supporting the affair despite the low-voiced warnings from Shigure to be cautious. Hatori's suffering at the violent hands of Akito was partially his fault for actively promoting the doomed relationship instead of preaching wariness, revealing to him how useless he was in the face of preventing pain from visiting the people important to him.  
  
Now was the same. The brother he'd estranged and had tried to rebuild a broken relationship with was gone before the rift between them had been completely mended. It was his sentiments, his regrets that lingered, as he thought again how little he'd been able to do. It hadn't been him who'd been able to heal the fragile young heart he'd been partly responsible for wounding, he'd only seemed to get in the way. And then, in the end, seeing his sibling in those last moments, being incapable of doing anything once again to keep darkness at bay, he could only watch as the pale and broken figure had passed away into a place unreachable by the living. The one he'd started trying to make things up to for past grievances was no longer around for him to do so. And now, the blame for bringing illness upon the grieving widow was upon his shoulders as well.  
  
Yuki would never forgive him.  
  
The weight of the thought pressed down on him, almost smothering him in its oppressiveness as it swelled within his mind as it became all he could think of. So disrespectful, he thought, of the newly departed brother he'd so wronged all these years to lead the one he'd loved most in this world into sickness. As the older brother, it had been his duty, his responsibility, to care for the precious family that his sibling had left unwillingly left behind him.  
  
Tohru.  
  
Another person he'd wronged. Using her as a means for his selfish desires, his regrets, to put the damaged sibling relationship to rights. And not being there for her in her time of need, holed away and wallowing in his own roiling emotions while she was left to deal with the grief of losing a spouse. More failure on his part, especially since he was now most likely the closest relation she had being estranged from her own parents' families as she was. And then leaving her in the cold, taking comfort from her in the shadows of the graveyard, heedless of how long they'd stayed there when she should have been responsible and ushered her into the warmth of her room. If her condition worsened, it would be because of him, because she was too tenderhearted, leaving him to vent his sadness at the risk of her own health. Flashes of his brother's younger sicklier days, when there were times he'd been fatally sick and verged on passing away as a child, flooded his mind as the knowledge of how insidious a simple ailment could be cause renewed fear to wash over him as he thought about the woman he'd brought in, pale and shaking.  
  
If his widow were to follow him into the next world, Yuki would damn him for all eternity. But that would be no more than he deserved, Ayame thought as terrible anxiety flooded his mind as he worried about what illness was overtaking the woman, such a precious bundle to the Jyunnishi, in the next room. Dozens of scenarios burst in his head, exploding one after another, ranging from bad to worse as horrible unease mounted within him, the bottled pressure growing and expanding until he couldn't take it anymore, couldn't handle the not knowing with the ominous possibilities looming over his head.  
  
With a sudden frenzy of movement, he darted for the office door, throwing it open only to stop short at the frozen expressions of shock on the two pale faces looking back at him. The ball of fear that had been forming in the pit of his stomach grew colder and heavier at the look in those gazes that told of a shock greater than the suddenness of his entrance. Fearing the worst, he looked to his friend for an answer, needing to know while at the same time not wanting to. He steeled himself for the worst as Hatori gave him a look, as serious as Ayame had ever seen him, as he voiced the answer to his silent question.  
  
"She's pregnant."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: Hehehe. A baby. That's got to make things a little happier, right? Well, you'll see in the coming chapters. (^^) 


	4. Chapter 3: The Request

AN: Well, it's been a while but I finally worked up the motivation to finish this chapter though I had parts of it done for the past month. Enjoy, those of you who are actually reading this fic of mine. (^_~)  
  
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CHAPTER 3: The Request  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
Ayame stared blankly at his friend uncomprehendingly, vaguely sure that something had gone wrong with his hearing. He'd been expecting something completely different to follow along with his nightmarish ruminations concerning the condition of the exhausted woman he'd rushed to Hatori's, a cold or even pneumonia that could possibly pull the grieving widow after her departed husband, anything but what he thought he'd just heard. That the pale and trembling woman before him, his sister-in-law, was -  
  
"Pregnant," Hatori repeated. "She's pregnant."  
  
Hatori sympathized as he watched golden eyes glaze over in shock, trying to process it all. It was an amazing announcement and he completely understood what his friend was going through because he was in a similar state, not expecting this kind of turn of events in the dark light of everything else that had happened recently. He'd anticipated her collapse as being brought on by an unhealthy combination of intense emotional stress, malnourishment, and the effects of being out in the cold in inadequate clothing for an indeterminate length of time and had been prepared to make a diagnosis accordingly. But the wordless replies she'd given in the form of a nod or shaking of the head in response to his questions, compounded with the examination he'd given her body, had placed a very different spin on the situation. He'd gone into just as much shock as Tohru had, indicated by the widening of her eyes and further paling of her features when he hadn't thought such a thing possible, when he'd broken the news to her just before the door had burst open, the same muddle of emotions that Ayame was taking his turn at experiencing.  
  
"A baby?"  
  
The tiny whisper, in a voice cracked from disuse, had both men freezing then turning hopefully to the woman on the bed who had uttered it. It had been days since any of them had heard her articulate a word of any sort. Even Ayame who had drawn comfort from her by his brother's grave marker had done so in silence until she had collapsed and then all words spoken had been by him in his frantic bid to stir her back to consciousness. Despite the scratchiness of the voice, to them it was akin to a ray of sunshine suddenly breaking through a thick layering of black thunderclouds during a long-lasting storm, a most welcome change.  
  
"Yes, that's right," Hatori said softly, a tiny smile of relief touching his lips at her broken silence though the expression in his eyes was still worried.  
  
"Yuki's baby?" she whispered hoarsely, face ghostly white in shock and strain as her hand slowly came to rest on the flatness of her belly.  
  
Ayame and Hatori exchanged concerned glances, both of them wondering just how she would take the news. She'd been under enough stress the past few days and, while news of an incoming baby was usually a happy occasion, it was also a stressful one, especially when there was only one parent left to deal with the difficulties of raising a child. Not only that, but the chances were high that, as the Jyunnishi position for the mouse was open, this baby would be the one visited with the burden of the curse. To be a Jyunnishi was undoubtedly difficult and to be the parents of one was a constant trial that, more often than not, led to the child being smothered in over protectiveness or completely shunned and despised. Either way, the threat of having one's child be born under the Jyunnishi curse was rarely a happy one and the two men wondered how the shocked woman before them would take this newest revelation. They gazed worriedly upon her pale and silent features, wondering what she was feeling, what she was thinking, and what, if anything, they could do for her.  
  
But she was unconscious of their concentrated and concerned regard as a mix of emotions assailed her, overwhelming her with their strength: despair that her husband was still gone, happiness that Yuki had left a piece of himself behind for her to hold on to, grief that the unborn babe would grow up without a father, regret that Yuki had never known about the life they had created together before he'd been taken from her, pained and saddened that Yuki wouldn't be by her side to watch their child grow, fear that she wouldn't be able to be a good single parent, ashamed of the uncommunicative way she'd been acting these past few days that she knew had caused others to worry about her greatly, despair because she confused and at a loss over how to proceed from this point on. All of the tumultuous emotions roiling within her was just too much for her to handle silently and, covering her face with her hands, she began to cry once more, just as she had in the graveyard, heaving sobs that shook her entire body with their force and further worried the two men who were concerned about her.  
  
"Tohru-kun!" In a sudden panicked flurry of motion, Ayame was by her side in an instant. "Are you okay?" he asked, then grimaced at the stupid question.  
  
Ayame's frantic tone reaching her, Tohru's crying died down to sniffling though tears continued to trail down her cheeks. She knew she'd already caused everyone enough worries about her with her shameful behavior the past few days and wanted to make up for it a little by, at the very least, avoiding bringing them any more reason to fret over her. And she knew that, if Yuki were here, he'd scold her gently over how silly she was being. Though thoughts of him made the rain of tears fall faster from her eyes, she did her best to calm her erratic emotions enough to send a trembling watery smile into Ayame's anxious features.  
  
"I'm okay," she whispered hoarsely.  
  
"That's good," Ayame responded, though his expression was doubtful.  
  
Ayame, himself, was far from being alright and knew that she had to even farther away from being so but he didn't know how else to respond. Stunned by all that had happened in the past few days, in the past few hours even, he wasn't sure what to do and it made him feel awkward and unsure. And he felt immensely guilty that, after all the shocks she'd endured, here she was trying to comfort him by working up a reassuring smile when it was obviously a great effort that he didn't feel he deserved.  
  
Hatori's gaze was serious as he took in the tableau before him. Tohru's fragile emotional state was obvious and her reaction to the news of a baby was troubling which, given the circumstances, was perfectly understandable. Still, understandable or not, all of it made the doctor fear for her health, a fear that was behind the reason why he was even contemplating the idea in his mind. Though he was loath to support such a decision, he felt that she of all people, after all the hardships she'd already endured in her young life and those that may have yet to come, deserved the chance to make this choice.  
  
"Tohru-san," he voiced softly, waiting until her full attention was focused on him. His expression was of the utmost solemnity, enforcing the gravity of the situation upon her before he made his offer. "As of this moment, only the three of us know about this. And we can keep it that way."  
  
"Hatori-san?" Tohru's weak voice reflected her obvious confusion.  
  
Hatori sighed, realizing that, with her, this wasn't a topic he could be obscure about. Face serious and reflecting his weariness, he told her, "If you think this is too much for you to handle, I'm willing to help you get an abortion. It's not too late."  
  
"What?" She was shocked.  
  
"Tori-san!" Ayame was horrified. "How can you suggest something like that?" He became angry. "To Yuki's child?"  
  
"Be quiet and listen," Hatori snapped. "I don't enjoy voicing these suggestions any more than you do hearing them but it's not our decision to make. It's hers. In this world, two parents raising a child is already a difficult enough task but it's even more so for a single one. It's made even worse with the possibilities of other things." The threat of the Jyunnishi curse was left unsaid. "She has a chance to turn away from it the way the rest of us can't. If we keep this between the three of us, it's possible to avoid anyone else knowing about this until the abortion is over."  
  
Ayame frowned, saying nothing but still looking upset while Tohru was still in silent shock.  
  
Hatori's tone softened. "Also, with her current health, it's unlikely that she'd be able to carry the baby to term. If things continue on like this, she'd be putting herself at risk to even try."  
  
Ayame paled, liking that thought even less. He swallowed hard and nodded, blinking back tears at the idea that he'd never see his unborn nephew. "If that's for the best, then-"  
  
"No!"  
  
The sharp exclamation had both men turning in surprise to see Tohru, still pale, gazing back at them with a determined expression, the lines of her face clearly conveying their upset. Obviously, she had overcome her silent shock and was ready to voice her own opinion on the matter at hand, which she did quite simply as was in her nature.  
  
"This child is Yuki's," she said straightforwardly. "I'm keeping him. No matter what, so don't try to change my mind."  
  
Ayame looked worried. "But your health-"  
  
"I'll be fine if I just take better care of myself." She turned anxious eyes to the doctor. "Right, Hatori-san?"  
  
"Well, yes." Hatori gave a little sigh of relief at her determination and decision though he was still concerned. "But it'll have to be very good care and you can't overexert yourself. I mean it." He gave her a stern look. "And expect to receive regular check-ups from me."  
  
She gave him a wobbly smile. "Okay."  
  
Hatori's expression turned more reflective, though no less serious. "This will change a lot of things." He hesitated for a heartbeat but finally broached the subject that had been bothering him. "First off, where do you want to stay? Here at the Honke? Or back at Shigure's?"  
  
She was sure Hatori was recalling her panic attack the last time they were at Shigure's and knew that it was a valid question. Despite her determination to keep the child, she wasn't deluded enough to think that everything would go smoothly from this point on, not when she still felt so much grief for Yuki lying within her heart. Even now, this moment still held a surreal feel to her as a part of her couldn't believe that he was truly gone, that he wasn't waiting for her back at the home they'd made in Shigure's house. Was going back to that house so full of memories of the two of them something she could do? She wasn't sure but she wanted to try.  
  
"I think," she said uncertainly, "I want to go back to Shigure-san's."  
  
"Do you think you're ready for that?" Hatori asked gravely.  
  
"Probably not." She gave a weak laugh. "But I think that, the longer I wait, the harder it will be for me to try." Her expression turned sadly wistful. "And, also, if at all possible, I'd like for the baby to grow up in a place surrounded by Yuki's presence."  
  
Hatori's face gentled. "I see." Then he frowned. "But I don't think staying in that house with just you and Shigure is a very good idea. I'm sure he'll do his best to help with as much as he can but Shigure is," he searched for fruitlessly for the words to describe him, "well, Shigure." Worried lines creased his face. "I'll get out there as much as I can but most of my time is taken up here."  
  
"That's okay." Tohru shook her head. "I don't want to put anyone through that much trouble on my account."  
  
"It's no trouble," he said firmly. "You're an important member of this family so your good health is a top concern." He tilted his head thinking. "Perhaps we can find someone else to stay with you. Maybe-"  
  
"I'll do it," Ayame broke in decisively.  
  
Hatori blinked. "Ayame?"  
  
"I can do it." Suddenly he looked uncertain. "Can't I?"  
  
Caught by his tone, Tohru softened. "Of course." Her smile was warm. "If Shigure-san doesn't mind and it's not too much of a bother-"  
  
"It's not," Ayame stated emphatically. "After all, it's my rightful duty as uncle to the baby, isn't it?"  
  
"Then I would appreciate your help very much," Tohru told him. Her expressing was bittersweet. "Yuki would like that as well, I'm sure. He would like his brother to help raise his son."  
  
"Son?" Hatori questioned, surprised. "It's still too soon to tell."  
  
"I'm sure it's a boy," Tohru said confidently, obviously quite sure about this.  
  
Hatori remained silent, refraining from bursting her bubble. It was too soon to tell, after all.  
  
"A nephew, huh?" Ayame was taken with the idea. "Well, then. We should get started with preparations." He was now a flurry of activity, gesturing his hands with every word. "I need to speak to Gure-san about staying over, then collect some things from home and move them over. Also, we need to see to collecting Tohru-kun's things from the Honke and moving them back. And then-"  
  
"Excuse me," Tohru tentatively broke in. She wrung her hands nervously. "Before anything else is decided, I have one request to make."  
  
Hatori and Ayame exchanged glances before turning to look back at her.  
  
"What is it?" Hatori asked.  
  
"Akito-san," Tohru said seriously. "I want to meet with him." 


End file.
